Yes, my mother-in-law lives with us. No, I’m not kidding!

by Kanesha

“If you want to find your passion, know your life’s purpose, meet your soul mate, or feel intensely alive, don’t look toward the fun things that fit logically into the flow of an easy life. Ask yourself, “What am I running away from?” Whatever that thing is, turn around. Walk toward it. Face it and conquer it, or die trying. “—Martha Beck

This quote from Martha Beck takes me back to 2006-2007 when my husband and I were discussing the reasons why it would be beneficial for his mother to move in with us. Sure it sounded great…our then 8-year-old and our new baby would be able to spend more time with their paternal grandmother – who would no longer live in Minnesota. We wouldn’t have to worry about before and after school care for our daughter, and I wouldn’t need to stress about some stranger(s) caring for my newborn and IF they would (or would not) feed him breast milk. AND I didn’t have to stop working full-time.

I was thinking I may be able to have two kids, a traveling husband, a career, and some work/life balance. BONUS!  (Oh did I mention I was two months into my new job when I found out I was pregnant? Yeah, that’s a different post at a different time!)

This was a great and simple decision, yes? NO!

I kept thinking, “Is this the right thing to do? Am I STUPID? Will it work? OMG, my mother-in-law will see me, ALL THE TIME, in my natural state. feet are swollen and I feel FAT!”

At the time, this potential living arrangement didn’t seem logical, but it seemed super practical. I’d never lived with my mother-in-law. My husband is great and she raised him, sooooo…this couldn’t be all bad, right? I decided in March 2007, when my mother-in-law was in town visiting before the baby was born (May 2007), that I would just try this multigenerational living arrangement and not over-analyze.

For us, embracing the full nest, instead of suffering through the full nest syndrome, made complete sense.

I didn’t run away. I walked toward it and faced it. Our multigenerational living arrangement will be three years old in July 2010. Everyone is still alive and thriving!  Hallelujah!!

Could your in-laws live with you? Why or why not? Tell us the truth!


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